The Flux Capasotor is broken!

So every time something goes wrong on my car I decide that the thing that is wrong is the flux capasator. It really makes the whole car braking down thing a lot more interesting. It can literally make the worst car issue more fun. Did your radiator bust? Flux capasator. Did your fan belt slip off? Flux capasator came loose. Did your starter brake? Looks like you need a new flux capasator.

It's endless fun. And it kinda irritates your dad who wants you to actually know what's wrong with your car so in the future you'll be able to tell mechanics what's what. (But I'll still tell them it's the flux capasator.)

Learning

So over the winter break I got together with some old friends and we were reading over some of the things that we had written during high school. I've just realized what an interesting experience it was to go back and read what I had written two years ago. My friends and I shared a notebook where we would share our problems and our ideas and give out advice and encouragement. Seems pretty cool, right?

All the normal stuff was as I remembered it, lots of high school drama and lots of advice but there were a few surprises. I did not remember a page in one of the notebooks where we had all written down what we believed the meaning of life was. Now, it's kinda embarrassing to think about what your seventeen year old self would have said about the meaning of life but I can assure you that all of us there got to re-read what we had to say at the time. I was surprised to find out that I had given a really good answer. Like really good. I really don't remember exactly what I wrote because I read it two weeks ago but I can assure you that we were all kinda shocked at how good of an answer it was.

So I guess that the basic point of this is that I'm wondering when I stopped thinking about things like that? But at the same time I know that I never did stop thinking about those things, I just stopped writing them down. I still have these really strong opinions but I don't feel I have time to write them down. I also don't have the time to read the types of books that I was reading at the time. Random but strangely insightful books that made be grow spiritually.

I think that the biggest shocker about any new social situation is meeting all of these new and bright people who just completely throw you off your guard. You'll get caught up in how intelligent they are and forget the good ideas that you've had yourself. I've heard the same thing from a few of my friends who got a little intimidated when they came to college and then realized that all their new friends and acquaintances were budding theological geniuses.

It seems like the best way to handle a transition like that is to hold on to your core while adding to your insight. You know that there are ideas that you have that are good, that are interesting and that dons't mean that you shouldn't listen to what others have to say, because that's how you grow. Hopefully there is some sort of balance in between knowing yourself and learning from others where you can find a confidence to accompany you while your listing to everything overly intelligent that everyone else has to say.

Everyone has their brilliant moments, so don't overlook them. Especially not your own.

Sleepy Me

I have decided that there are two of me. I have named these two different people Sleepy Me and Myself. Myself is just normal non sleep deprived me who knows for the most part what she is doing and is able to remember what she herself dose. Sleepy me has no real idea what is going on but tries hard to keep up with the plans that she puts into action.

Sleepy Me tries to be helpful, she really dose. But I'm afraid that it's hard for her to be helpful to regular me when I can never remember what it is that she has done. Sleepy Me's latest misadventure was hiding my watch from me. I know that losing track of your watch shouldn't be the end of the world in our age of cell phones and ipods which display the time of day eternally from tiny glowing screens but it really bothered me when I lost my watch a week or two ago.

I knew who had last held the watch. It was Sleep Me, at 4 am trying to be helpful by taking the watch off before she went to bed because she knew I don't like to sleep with it on because it hurts. What I could not remember upon waking was what sleepy me had done with the watch. Which was a problem.

After looking for the watch for 48 hours and turning my room and purse upside down I found my watch in my computer case. All that I can conclude is that Sleepy Me decided that the one place I was sure to find my watch was in the case with the computer that I use a lot. Which seems to make sense but it just didn't work out that way. Like I said, Sleepy Me tires.