On the survival of mankind.

It has recently come to my attention that the survival of all humans lies in the hands of girls who wear shorts in the wintertime and hipsters who want to be Davy Crockett.

I have had a revelation. The girls who wear shorts in 28 degree weather and manage not to look cold are actually going to save humanity. But this will only happen if they mate with hipsters that like to farm.

Now, I know that none of that made any sense, so let me elaborate. The girls in shorts are obviously a new species of human. They are able to withstand lower temperatures with minimal clothing. This will come in handy during the next ice age when humans have little time to make clothing and have no means of electricity to keep themselves warm.

I have also noted that several males walk around in the same weather as the girls with no coat in short sleeves and shorts. They, however, look cold. They must be inferior. Because of this I have started categorizing those who wear shorts into “specimen” and “non acceptable specimen” categories. Those who do not flinch and have obviously not been working out will be quality breeding stock.

For breeding partners I have chosen the farming hipster. My roommate informs me that these are people who can not only farm, but also find themselves quite at home with no electricity and a v-neck shirt. (I myself can grow things but fear a lack of electrical energy, making myself a “non acceptable specimen.”) These specimen's dedication to growing food for survival and not depending on 'the man' for their energy needs will make them a useful people during the next ice age.

Should the two specimens successfully create a hybrid we will be able to save humanity from the next ice age. The resulting human will be able to sustain cold temperatures in minimal clothing while growing all of it's own food and producing it's on energy. We're going to be ok guys, we're going to be ok.